16 December 2011

[net_liff] What Yelp! Needs … More Cormac McCarthy

2729.What Yelp! needs? A voice with style, with gravitas (which is a veggie I think I had on one of my salads recently), with world-weariness and the ability to see through lies.

I mean, of course, Cormac McCarthy:

Four stars.
I am going to remove a star, he said.
Please don’t mister.
Don’t move. It’s better if you don’t move.
It’s important you know why. Do you understand why this is happening?
Oh God.
It is because I clearly shared with you my condition. I cannot countenance gluten. And yet I see croutons here. Do you see them as well?
Yes. I’m sorry.
Do you understand that sorry does not remove the croutons?
Yes. Oh God.
Good. Then we can agree your action has changed the course of the universe in some infinitesimal but irrevocable way. To remove the croutons would not remove the action. You see?
The waiter closed his eyes.
That was Cormac at Chili's. Rating: four stars. Read the rest, and here's the whole thing.

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