[meme] Catching Up: Two Saturday Slants on Wednesday

I must be getting over my illness. I'm creative enough to follow up to the last two Saturday Slants Pariah posted. I'll try not to make it too staccato.

Number 1, posted about last week, title: Naughty Little Impulse

What is your naughty little impulse never acted upon? Ever wanted to kiss your boss? Do you often feel like telling your mother-in-law that she’s a self-centered, controlling witch—over Thanksgiving Dinner? Do you sometimes feel the compulsion to pick up your man’s dirty socks, which are constantly strewn about the floor irresponsibly, and ball it into his sleeping, snore-opened mouth? Ever wanted to steal something just for the thrill of it? Or is your impulse more along the lines of seducing that hunk from the mail room? Tell us about some naughty impulse you’ve had—or have frequently—and the circumstances surrounding it. This is a classic Saturday Slant revisited from 42 weeks ago.

Well, I've never wanted to kiss my boss....ew.

Actually, I have wanted to steal something just for the hell of it. Or deface something. I'll explain.

All my life I've loved street signs. From the street 'blades' that identify the streets at intersections to that font they use on the freeway signs. Stems from my love of type I suppose but I've been making fake street directional signs ever since I was a kid. Still do as an adult.

There are two things I want to do that I've always had to restrain myself from. Number one:get a "classic" Interstate highway shield. You can tell these quite easily; for many years on both U.S. highway as well as Interstate shields, the standard was to emblazon the state name on the shield, usually above the number. In the case of the Interstate it would be in small caps centered in the top of the lower area, just below the dividing line.

It would be a fine thing to have one of these shields. But it's against the law. Stealing, don't ya know.

The other thing is to make 'edits' to street signs. Ever see those yellow diamond-shaped signs that simply say "PEDESTRIANS"? Wouldn't they be more fun if they said "PEDESTRIANS - 5 POINTS"?

Yeah, yeah, I know. It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.

Then, of course, it's just fun.

Number 2, posted two weeks ago, title: Worst Traveling Experience

Whether you were flying back home for the holidays, driving across town for aunt Liz’s wedding, or globe trotting for business, odds are good you’ve experienced something bad. Tell us about your most embarrassing or frustrating travel experience.

A loooong time ago, I was in the Navy. I was stationed in Orlando for training. Training concluded I loaded up my then-new car and started out on the road, driving all the way from Florida to Oregon.

I stopped by my then-stepsisters home in Pensacola for a night. Made note to self: Florida's big. Well, it may be only about 100 miles across, but it seems about 500 miles long. From there I drove across Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas and Missouri to Saint Louis.

See, I only had maybe two weeks to get back to Oregon, reconnect to family, then get back out to Idaho for training at a Naval facility out there. And I was already on day two. Tempus was fugiting like mad for me.

About the only thing I took time to do was take a picture of the Gateway Arch. And that film (actually it was one of those funky disc cameras that Kodak came out with in the '80s) was never developed and looong gone.

While I enjoyed the chance to be on my own for some 3,500 miles I had to kick out the jams and get on it so much that I pretty much speeded past all of everything I really ever wanted to see in America. My biggest memory is interminable miles of freeway and driving from Saint Louis, Missouri in two days. The last day was 24 hours of solid driving, from a place in the Nebraska panhandle called Sidney to Salem. I saw Memphis...from I-55. I drove within two miles of Graceland and didn't pull off to look. I took the I-84 cutoff around the northeast side of Salt Lake City, but never came within sight of the place-I've always wanted to see SLC, see the big Mormon temple there. There were snowstorms on the Utah-Idaho border and in the Santiam Pass on State Hwy 22, and I got to experience those-mind you, I was in a '80 VW Rabbit at the time.

I saw so much, but I missed so much more. And I may never have the chance to do that again.

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