05 April 2014

[brand] Spearmint Rhino Is a "Gentlemens Club". No, I Wouldn't Have Guessed Either.

Living in Portland, one develops a certain blasé mien toward strip clubs. Not that they are necessarily something that one welcomes to a neighborhood, really. More a recognition, much as the seashore recognizes the tide is coming in whether it likes it or not, that it's coming … like it or not.

Personally, I don't have a problem with strip clubs as such; I don't patronize them, I don't like a lot about them, but people are going to want them and others are going to set them up for those people. Sex sells, and almost everyone's buying. 'Specially here in PDX, where the reputation for such establishments is nothing short of legendary.

We can, each one of us, I suppose, differ on whether or not there are are too many of them. I don't think Portland needs any more, really, and I have proof that they're getting a little too common (if that be possible; they've long since run out of names for them that are impossible not to mock.

I figured we were in a dark place when a local Division Street dive bar of long standing, the Peanut Farm, at 12646 SE Division Street, became yet another strip club … but called itself the Pitiful Princess. That's the most depressing name I can think of for a strip club. Pitiful Princess. It's like naming a strip club Daddy Issues. 

Well, the sun rises and sets, the tide goes in and out, and, like the ticking of some sleazy clock, another strip club has opened in Stumptown, and it's called …

Spearmint Rhino. 

Wait … what?

Yeah. Spearmint Rhino. It doesn't seem to be code for anything, it isn't some bizarre and obscure name for a hitherto little-known bit of male or female intimate anatomy. Spearmint Rhino. A name designed to leave you scratching your head. The logo (right) isn't particularly brilliant or inspired, but at least it looks like someone spent some time on designing it. If you really want to say something for it … hey, nice font, I guess.

Give it that.

So, Spearmint Rhino, a name that will come to signify something in the annals of something somehow, has opened its doors in PDX. Yayz. And you know what else? Hey, it's an international chain! Yayz again! According to Wikipedia, the club opened in 1989 as a supplement to the existing Peppermint Elephant Restaurant. So, there's that.

So, we missed out on the Peppermint Elephant, but we do know that it took supplements.

Stay tuned for what are sure to be newer additions to the panoply of being able to see naked women in Portland:

  • Vanilla Zebra
  • Raspberry Giraffe
  • Licorice Bison
  • Habañero Hippo
  • Butterscotch Buffalo
Oh, we could go on.  But we won't.

No, I ain't giving you directions. You got Google. Find in yourowndangself.

1 comment:

Stella Shaffer said...

Perhaps gentlemen like their lap dances minty fresh? Plus, "Habanero Hippo" is going to be MY new stripper name.