09 July 2010

[type] Comic Sans - For When You Want To Strike Back At The LeBronzilla

2470.
Well ... how 'bout them Cavs?

By now even people who hide in caves know, LeBron James, in an epic orgy of self-indulgent media attention that will go down in the annals of bad taste, pretty much deserted his Cleveland fans to run to Miami. Where you stand on this pretty much depends on where you sit, but from my POV, the self-indulgence grew so very huge that the ghost of Andy Warhol materialized to say "Hey, dial it back, fella. Over the top there".

But of all the multiple ring media circus, designed to make even the most self-aggrandizing political pundit look absolutely buttoned down, the most absurd event of the whole cascade didn't really directly involve LeBronzilla at all. It involved one Dan Gilbert, majority owner of the Cavs.

Now, before I go forward with this I want to unequivocally state that I feel the Cavs' pain. I respect what they're going through. I remember the Clyde Drexler Blazer squads of the 90s, when the only thing standing between the 'Zers and a much-deserved 2nd championship was the MJ-led Chicago Bulls. It's heartbreaking to have your dream squashed by someone who doesn't respect you at all.

Now Mr. Gilbert felt it time to epistle eloquently, and timely the decision it was, too. Though, we must ask ourselves, of all the fonts he could have used to compose his missive, why did he have to choose Comic Sans?

Yes, you heard it right. RoseConnare's Baby. Here's a sample:



Read the entire missive here: http://www.nba.com/cavaliers/news/gilbert_letter_100708.html.

This is why those of us who bitch about Comic Sans being every where, bitch about Comic Sans being everywhere. Type carries mood and attitude, and the mood and attitude conveyed here pretty much approximate how you'd feel if the famous "Coffee's for closers" speech Alec Baldwin's character in Glengarry Glen Ross were delivered by the character after inhaling helium.

Doesn't quite have the same punch. I feel like I'm trying to suppress laughter at someone's funeral or summat.

That on the table, I completely sympathize with Dan Gilbert, and my heart's out to the Cleveland fans. Being a Blazer fan, I know heartbreak.

But, being a very powerful and wealthy man, doesn't Mr Gilbert have assistants to prevent him from doing things like this?

The next time you ask yourself why all those type geeks get so excercised at Comic Sans ... think on this.

And understand.

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2 comments:

Isaac Laquedem said...

I'm with you. This isn't a Comic Sans message -- to me Mr. Gilbert's letter reads like Garamond or Palatino.

Isaac

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

It's the acme of the whole LeBronzilla horror show, I think, that the angst has gone round the world, doubled back, turned itself inside out ... and rebounded upon the world as a heartfelt Braveheart-y missive in CS.

I'm laughing like a madman over this inside. seriously.