23 October 2010

[teh funnay] I Heart Headlines: So, It's LOSE The Plastic And Glass Studs From The Beef Stick?

I do. I do love headlines. Writing a great one is an art. Somewhere between The Headline Of The Age and the rest, there is this odd twilight zone where dark humor reigns as the headline tries to abstract the content of an article down to a distilled succinctitude, and it winds up seeming to say something unexpected and unintentionally funny.

God knows that Leno's made a career of it.

It's not just in print tho. I found a great, Celine-Dion-based example of it here; and here's another one, from today's OregonLive:

Here you have an example of an exactitude of language being used to describe an accidentitude of product contamination, brought to you by the word studded, which is something crafters and decorators do intentionally. The impression I get is of a beef stick marketed to people who like shiny, decorated food.

"Oh, hey, Bob, big news here - remember that idea they had to sell the beef-sticks to the upscale consumer by decorating them with bits of plastic or glass? Turns out that's illegal. Yeah, who knew?"

Stud you later.

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