[lit] If This Is What Passes For Thought These Days...

712 I just can't (or maybe don't really care to) put my finger on it but this makes me angry.

In my surfing the politblogs I find a link to this new book, Applebee's America, authored by people specialized in telling acceptable truths (as opposed to what we all actually need to know) and, because I'm feeling a little off today, figured I'd do something I usually resist–filling in an online quiz.

The idea apparently is that the key to attaining power in America these days is by giving the punters–who are now divided into "tribes"–what they need to hear. This is not necessarily a bad thing–like many tools, the good or the evil is in the use. It does, however, illustrate the utter poverty of what passes for thought in the political arena these days.

The quiz starts out alright enough, though I should have probably been clued to the shallowness of its approach by the fact that only two responses are given for each question. Check–check–check...but then came this:

You're at a cocktail party, and the only choices are gin, bourbon, scotch and vodka. Which liquor do you choose?

• Bourbon or Scotch
• Gin or vodka

Well, not that I stand a chance of being invited to any cocktail parties anytime soon, but I'd go for the scotch. Of course, a party without rum is lifeless anyway, but beggars can't be choosers, or so it's said. So, I check "Bourbon or Scotch", but I'm hoping it's understood that by "Bourbon or Scotch", I mean "Scotch", because, "Bourbon"....urgh.

Anyhow! Moving on, we come to this question:

You're at happy hour and there is a special on domestic beer. Which do you choose?

• Coors
• Bud

Um, how about a third choice: Gag? The world of the writer of this quiz either has a very dreary life or is a Manichean. Both are like making love in a canoe (fill in the punch line yourself, it's an old one). So I (almost literally) hold my nose and choose Bud (there are some things even Yours Truly won't do).

Which special event would you be more inclined to attend?

• Monster Truck Show
• Pro Wrestling Match

How about neither? Without putting too fine a point on it, I'm not the Monster Truck type, and Pro Wrestling started to suck the day Frank Bonnema died.

After the end of this pointless excercise, I'm told I'm part of the "Tipping" tribe. See, there's "Red", "Blue", and "Tipping" tribe, and even though the implication is clear, I still don't understand what the hell that's really supposed to mean.

But it seems like they want the reader to be some sort of fool to sell a book . Because, after all, we aren't partisan anymore, but we all are part of some sort of "tribe" (which is a very hip thing to say) depending on whether we're liberal, conservative, or somwhere in the middle.

Ai yi ever-loving yi.

I used to wonder where were were going and how the hell we got in this handbasket. Well, get out of the handbasket; we've arrived.

Tags: Applebee's America, shallow punditry