[liff] An Open Letter to The Academy, a/k/a Shameless Begging

732 Dear Academy members, Oscar® attendees, and winners:

Congratualtions! You've made it through another awards ceremony and I've heard it was a crackling good time. Congrats to Martin Scorsese espeically; you really deserved that gold. Good on ya! And Ellen did a brilliant job hosting. And who knew Al Gore would win an Academy Award? Magic!

But to brass tacks. I've heard that all of you individuals get these things called swag bags and the contents, well, I hate to be crass, amount to mumble times my own yearly income.

But I'm not trying to make you feel guilty for your good fortune; think of this as a respectful request from a distant admirer of your art and your lifestyle.

I have, for years, wanted an iPod. It's on my Amazon wish list (which needs to be updated; there are way cooler iPods out now). Now, I understand that one of the things you guys got in your goodie bag was, as a matter of fact, an iPod.

Now, you guys have the world at your feet; I'm just a struggling graphic designer looking for his first really big score (I got irons in the fire but...well, you know how that goes). There has never been any money in the budget for an iPod for me, regardless of how hard I've worked, but, hey one of you folks could probably afford to buy a case lot of iPods and toss them out on the street to the poor (like me).

So if one of you didn't need your iPod, could you send me one of yours?

I realize that it's kind a a cheeky request, and maybe a little out-of-school. And it's a little lighthearted, but hell, nothing ventured nothing gained, eh? If you guys hadn't've been audacious, you wouldn't be where you were.

So, what do you say? Can I have one of your iPods? My life would brighten up and you'd be a working class hero and, well, you'd gain a Number One fan for life.

And I'd blog about it all, of course. You'd win, I'd win, we'd all get a lot of cool and quirky publicity.

My email is up on the sidebar there, and I'm sometimes on Yahoo! Messager and iChat.

Let's talk!

Tags: Academy Awards, Oscar, Oscar swag, Al Gore, An Inconvenient Truth, Jennifer Hudson, Martin Scorsese, Ellen DeGeneres, Forrest Whitaker, Helen Mirren, Alan Arkin, Little Miss SunshineiPod