01 June 2012

[type] Now, This Is A Bad Sign (#1 In A Possible Series)

2837.Time to inaugurate a new, random, occasional series here in The Times, and I'ma calling it Now, That's A Bad Sign. It's the continuing story of public signage that, but for an inattentive eye, became a silly joke.

Our first semiotic delinquent was found hanging out, taking up space, at the corner of SE 105th Avenue and Stark Street, on the east end of beautiful downtown Russelvillelandia. It was a No-Right Turn sign, because Stark Street is part of the one-way grid stretching from SE 108th Avenue to SE 78th Avenue, where they merge to become Thorburn Street and go over the shoulder of Mount Tabor.

Anywho, I saw what I thought was a sundog and tried to get a picture of it (didn't get a good one) and decided I liked the fresh air so I called The Wife™ on the phone and said "Huns, I'm enjoying it out here, can you come collect me when you come out of the Dollar Tree?"

"Sure," She said. "It should be about five minutes."

Twenty minutes later (don't ask) I began to get bored (there's only so much cultural resonance to the westbound traffic at SE 105th and Stark in Portland), and began to take a close old look at the back of the sign. Now, The CoP puts little stickers on saying when the sign was erected and warning you that if you're thinking of messing with the sign you should find some other hobby maybe, and I took a close look at it. And I read it. And it said this:

Reading is fun-da-mental, boyz and girlz. And this one read thuth:

It is unlawful to remove or detach any official road sign
or traffic control device punishable by fine and/or imprisonment.

So, presumably, if this was a sign not punishable by fine and/or imprisonment, then you could mess with it all you want. But, still, the question is raised:

Just what exactly is a "sign punishable by fine and/or imprisonment" anyway?

Punctuation and grammar. It's the difference between Let's eat, Grandma! and Let's eat Grandma!

1 comment:

Isaac Laquedem said...

A sign that omitted a period, a colon or a serial comma, or that used quotation marks where none are "needed," should most certainly be punishable by fine and/or imprisonment.