22 July 2008

[or_liff] The List Of People Who Will Have To Settle For Dutch Bros, Or, Failing That, Folgers

1671.


(via The Fire Wire) Of the 600 Charbucks that are closing worldwide (which, remember, is less than 4% of the entire chain, making the announcement, we feel, something of a storm-in-a-french-press sort of thing) only six are in Oregon, and all of them are in the Portland Metro Area. From this list, then, here they are:


460 TANASBOURNE - HAGGENS 18000 NW EVERGREEN PKWY BEAVERTON OR


Oh? Well, no worries ... there's one over at 188th and Cornell ...


13769 CORNELL & 188TH 1887 NW 188TH AVE HILLSBORO OR


Aw, damn.


Well, seriously, though ... if you have trouble finding to-go coffee in any form over in Tanasbourne, then I got some serious worries about you, homeslice.


Moving east now:


426 HAWTHORNE II 1864 SE HAWTHORNE BLVD PORTLAND OR


If I recall correctly, this one was vandalized just before it opened. Score one for the People's Front of Judea! But that's not all ... Melusine deprivation disease also can be found at the other end of Ladd's Addition:


3441 20TH & DIVISION 2045 SE DIVISION ST PORTLAND OR


This one was also vandalized prior to opening, but this was actually the Judean People's Front ... or was it the Judean Popular People's Front? ... eh ...


14303 CLACKAMAS TOWN CENTER II 11860 SE 82ND AVE PORTLAND OR


Of course, they'll still have a café powered by Starbucks in the Barnes 'n' Noble. Again, if you can't find yourself a Starbuckless coffee outside of that in Clackamas Clown Center, then I wonder about you, homes.


10520 TILLAMOOK SHOPS 1701 WILSON RIVER LOOP RD TILLAMOOK OR


The ironic thing is that, as I understand Tillamook, this is the tony end of town. And it's out near the cheese factory. Those folks will be reduced to Folgers ... at least until the Dutch Mafia sets up shop (at the rate they're going, that should be any day now).


Well, there you go. If you're anywhere near one of these shops (except for Tillamook) you may have to go anywhere up to seven to 10 extra blocks to find a Starbucks.


Good luck, and Godspeed.


UPDATE Tue 22 Jun 1030: It has been pointed out to me that Tillamook is, in fact, not actually in the Portland Metropolitan Area. Which is true. I knew this, I was just getting impressed with my own verbiage. Ah, the verbiage ... how GOOD it feels! It, however, is true that the nearest Dutch Bros stand to the Land Of Many Rivers is located in The Grove That Is Forested (at 2406 Pacific Ave, which you may plug into your Google), so there's still an opportunity out there, peoples!


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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Re: Tillamook Starbucks... I think the visitors will miss it, but doubt it has many locals there. That may be the reason it is closing... not enough visitors to make it thru the long winter months here. And there is already a dutch expresso stand in Tillamook...or were you just kidding about the dutch? LOL!

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Well, by the words "Dutch Mafia", I mean Dutch Bros of course. According to their website they haven't yet set up a stand over there.

But their website might be a little out of date.