25 February 2009

Unicorns In The City Council Chamber

1956.Portland being built over an ancient unicorn burial ground explains so very much, if you let silly things like logic go by the board.

For instance, over at PMerc, there's a photo of Councilor Fritz and Mayor Sam at the hearing for the increasingly-brobdingangian Columbia River Crossing thingy. View the article and the image here.

I found myself, though, in a Kolchak: The Night Stalker*/X-Files/Fringe** sort of way, wondering if there was a deeper story to the unsanity that has been Portland City Council of late. So, I nicked the photo from Blogtown and put it into Photoshop, applying the Unicorn Filter (of which I own the only one), found that there was indeed, something deeper to say about it:

What is the unicorn doing? Whispering some sage policy advice in Sam's ear? Protecting Amanda from a psychic barrage leading to cynicsm? Simply observing? We know not, and will never know, for unicorns keep their own council.

We could find a gentle virgin to tame the unicorn and perhaps find out, but, hey ... this is Portland, yes?

A note on the Photoshop Unicorn Filter: I've been allowed its use only if I keep the developers an absolute secret. I have further been told to say that if I tell you all who did it, the developers would kill themselves, which I 'splained to them was kind of backwards, but they said that's what they meant, and boarded the TriMet 33 so they could get out to Jim & Patty's coffee before it closed.

You don't argue with geniuses. You all know what I mean.

* The Darren McGavin version, not that lame-o Stuart Copeland version that deservedly died, screaming.
** Not the X-Files, no matter what anyone says.

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Dale said...

It's nothing less than haunting. It really makes you stop and think. Think: is there a ghost unicorn watching over all of us here in Portland? Are we sure they mean well? Are we sure we're sure?

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Well, that's the thing, Dale. They betray none of their secrets.

Maybe they simply want to remind us of our very special heritage. Maybe they're like that greek chorus or something like that.

Not only do they keep their own council, they keep their own counsel too!