The town council has announced its intent to erect a new statue in front of the town hall. Since there are enough statues about town of the founder, explorers, and other long-dead figures, the council has decided to allow the citizens to nominate someone to honor with the statue. Entries are open to anyone, living or dead.
Who do you think deserves to have a statue erected of him/her in your town? The town council wants justification for the nomination, so why should this person be honored with a statue? Speak from your heart.
Bud. Freakin'. Clark. No question. Best mayor evar!
After all, what other mayor cut such a figure...and still doesn't have an indictment? Goldschmidt was quite the thing, back in the salad days, but he's devolved into someone who is more interested in serving big business than the people and his hidden life defines the word "disreputable".
No, Bud Clark really has the heart and soul of P-town. Consider the following:
* He was a cool bar owner before being elected mayor. He was the dark horse.
* He was a bike-rider in a city that fancies itself a bike Mecca.
* Two words: "Whoop-whoop!"
* The annual Mayor's Ball
* Expose Yourself To Art, The Poster. Certainly people remember this, but for those benighted: Picture a fella in a raincoat and floppy cap, holding his coat open. He is holding it open to an abstract sculpture of a woman, downtown, near Southwest 5th and Washington (the sculpture still exists). That fella in the raincoat was old "Whoop-whoop".
* Vera Katz, despite her interesting character, is still colorless when compared to Bud.
In short, he made following government fun, and you never knew what he was going to do next. We need more Bud Clarks in Portland life.
I do have a concept for the statue; a statue of him, in the raincoat, exposing himself to that statue down on the Transit Mall. But (wait for it), when you go round to the front (and you know you will), he won't be nekkid, thankfully. He'll be fully dressed, with a sign hanging on his chest, saying "Gotcha!"
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1 comment:
Well-written and fun! I like the concept for the actual statue too.
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