Showing posts with label pdx_humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pdx_humor. Show all posts

29 April 2008

[pdx_politik, teh_funnay] Portland Political Season Trading Cards, Series 2008, #5

1521. #5: Beryl McNair.


Beryl McNair-front


Beryl Mc Nair-Back


A note on style: While the other cards have been adapted from pictures of vintage baseball cards, this one is intended to look more like a modern card. The readers experience may be different, but our experience is that womens professional sports, as a marketable commodity on a par with the men's pro leagues, is a relatively recent development (and still somewhat on the bubble ... the WNBA is still playing, though sadly not here in Portland (who else misses the Fire?)) Consequently we feel that a sports card for a woman player would be most believable with a more contemporary look. This particular adaptation is 100% original, and takes its cue from the high gloss quality production levels we typically find in the modern sports collectible card.


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26 April 2008

[pdx_politik, teh_funnay] Portland Political Season Trading Cards, Series 2008, #3

1515. #3: Kyle Burris.


Kyle Burris Card-Frong


Kyle Burris Card-Back


Seriously, we can't help but like Kyle. Hustling for those few last-minute signatures he needed to file (because he's broke) and asking Sten, Francesconi, and Saltzman for sigs takes the sort of guts we need a bit more around here these days. He's an anodyne for the stress-filled,  typically slick, serious-to-the-point-of-despair campaigns we've had to endure for the past few years. Honestly, the fella doesn't stand a chance, but we think his chutzpah and irreverence hits it out of the park.


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25 April 2008

[pdx_politik, teh_funnay] Portland Political Season Trading Cards, Series 2008, #2

1514. #2: Sho Dozono. Also see important message at the end of this post.


Sho Dozono Card-Front


Sho Dozono Card-Back


I'd also like to give propers to Jack Bogdanski who linked to the Sam Adams card and was a good sport at the good-natured dig I made in the "You Don't Like Him If" section. If anyone comes over here from bojack.org, then welcome and thanks for stopping by. Linkback perforce installed in the blogroll by way of thanks.


The traffic I'm getting now is staggering compared to what I had before. Never underestimate the power of a Bojack blessing.


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25 January 2008

[pdx] It's Hard Out Here For A Former Fur Store Owner

1287.

News Item: Gregg Schumacher ordered to pay $43,000 of legal fees for filing a frivolous lawsuit against PETA over thier protests of his store (via the Merc)


This, of course, gives us a chance to do what we usually do in such situations, namely, steal a photo from the Merc's Blogtown and LOLize it.



Whenever I think I've got it tough, I think of ol' Greg Schumacher. Now that's some vicississitudes of fortune there, boy.


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07 November 2007

[pdx] Sam Adams Domain Name Party Photobucket Remix

1097. Okay, skip it, skip it; Photobucket is being a bear about it all; can't control the blog display for the remix and it crashes Safari when I load it up.

So here's a hard link to it. That, or click in the big piccy below.


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[pdx] Sam Adams Gets His URL-And We Have The Pictures


1096. Welcome to another episode of You Weren't There. Why weren't you there? Shucks, we don't know. Maybe you were picking up the kids from soccer; maybe you were stuck in traffic; maybe you had other plans; maybe you were plotting to take over the world (same as you do every night). Who knows?[1]


The Hawthorne Bridge From Just Outside the Pilsner Room, 7 Nov 2007


Point is, you weren't there. We were. Here's our story.

As the media have reported (and if you're a Mark & Dave cult member or other similarly-connected sort) The Letter That Caused All The Brew-Haha was auctioned off for the KEX Kids Fund and Mark & Dave were going to present the domains they had acquired to Sam Adams (the potential mayor, not the beer).

So convened the Sam Adams Domain Name Transfer Party, with your hosts, Mark Mason and Dave Anderson:

Mark Mason and Dave Anderson tell the tale of The Letter.
Dave's holding the commemorative 1st Amendment Ale tap handle


The tale was told of the bad guys (Boston Brewing, we all by know know who they are) and how the makers of Samuel Adams beer found out our fellahs reserved domain names for The Real Sam Adams™, didn't bother to do any due diligence in actually finding out just who The Real Sam Adams™ was, and set the legal wheels in motion, sending what has gone down in history as The Letter (follow the link to KEX's Brew-Haha page, where the letter is on prominent display).

The Letter was peforce put up to auction on eBay, the proceeeds to generate income for the KEX Kids' Fund, which sees to it that poor kids who need glasses and hearing aids get them. After the bidding was over and the dust had settled, the winner was Jim Hopkins of Accent Verticals, a local window fashions vendor:

Mark Mason, Jim Hopkins, and The Letter.


After setting up the situation and getting the festivities in full swing, the presentations begun. Very Big Checks/Certificates started changing hands. First, Jim Hopkins presented one to Mark and Dave representing the amount of the bid that won him The Letter:

Jim Hopkins presents Mark and Dave with his VBC

That $1475.90 was matched by KEX for a net gain of $2951.80 for the Kids' Fund on the basis of the auction alone. A run of Full Sail Ale was also branded as "Mark & Dave 1st Amendment Ale" for the night, and a special tap handle was made for the occasion, and proceeds from the sale of pints also went into the Fund.

KEX's Dave Anderson with the special Mark & Dave Ale tap handle


As for Samuel Adams Ale, its tap handle was shrouded in black. We wot that Samuel Adams didn't sell very well that night.

After the handing over of Jim Hopkins' VBC to Mark and Dave (and the transfer of ownership of The Letter), came the crest of the evening – Mark and Dave awarding the website samadamsformayor.com to The One True Sam Adams™[2]:

The URL goes to its rightful owner.

The ceremony done, people got down to some of your basic mixing. For the record, I did try the ale, which I rather liked; The Wife™, not so much (she's not an ale fan). At the start of the evening, we felt rather like a fish out of water, but everyone was very friendly and warm, and when we left, we found that we'd had quite a very good time.

Mark and Dave also gave credit to us bloggers who did what we could to publicize or at least speak out on this. Mark mentioned us, Witigonen (who we enjoy reading, and zeppelins), Isaac Laquedem (who links here and I didn't get to meet – sorry, Isaac) and Kari Chisholm was also there (who I did get to meet). I recall that Mark mentioned Rusty, sadly, he didn't make it.

Kari Chisholm discussing something with KPOJ PD Mike Dirckx.
No, we don't know what.


Naturally, we met the guest of honor. Here are we, Sam the mayoral candidate, and Sam, the pipsqueak underemployed graphic designer:

(left) Possibly Portland's Next Mayor;
(right) Mark & Dave Cult Member #583

Say whatever you want about his politics, Sam Adams is a pretty decent fellow, and extremely affable in person (now I really wish I could have been at the City Council meeting where they did the jazz hands). The Wife™ made him promise to stay in touch with us. He said he would. And why? "Because we're your constituents" saith The Wife™. Can't argue with that logic, neh?

And The Wife™ got her brush with greatness:

The Wife™ and The Guys
(I don't have to tell you who they are again, do I?)

We're going to treasure these shots – should Sam become mayor, we'll be able to say "We Were There When". This isn't the whole lot; I've posted all of them on my flickr account, and I've made a subalbum on Photobucket (complete with a captioned remix).

That's all for this edition of You Weren't There. We're not sure where we'll be next, but one thing may prove true: we'll be there, and you...well, you might not be.

[1]Apologies to Bob and Ray.
[2]Apologies to The One True b!X

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05 November 2007

[pdx] Local Progressive Radio Host Hates Envronment: Official

1088. Thom Hartmann has won the hearts of progressives all over Portland since coming to town a couple of years back. But what of his dark side?

Thank Exxon that the Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch is on the case:

The Post Times Sun Dispatch has learned that Fox News is going to air a half-hour documentary called Thom Hartmann: Environmental Hypocrite and His Secret War Against Trees, in which the Air America talk show host is accused of promoting environmental friendly positions but then authoring a string of books that needed a slew of trees to be harvested for paper.

Thom Hartmann: Enviromental Hypocrite Bastid? Get the facts at PTSD and you decide (we're all going to be PTSD at some point in the next few years anyway).

(NB: Illo nicked wholesale from here)

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03 November 2007

[pdx] Sam Adams Is Politco: Official

1081. The polling is closed, and by a margin of 62% to 37%, Sam Adams is official a Politician, as decided by the Mighty Readership.

To be honest, I'm surprised that it was that close. Yes, it was an overwhelming margin, but 37%...hmm. Makes me wonder.

Anyhow, thanks for precipitating in the poll, those of you who did. You are créme de la créme (I hope I got the accents in the right place, yo) and you are wise and wonderful. I hear you all smell pretty good too. And you have excellent taste. And, no, your butt certainly does not look huge in that!

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01 November 2007

[pdx] Fish Rape and Gossip: Fun With RottenNeighbor.com

1079. When we heard of RottenNeighbor.com, we figured this would quickly become a place to air out neighborhood dirty laundry – but we had no idea...

Got to the site, plugged in our address in lovely Baja Gresham, and was not too surprised what came up – the farther into what was once well-(and incorrectly)known as "East County" the more there were complaints that pretty much fell into the "white trash-y" category. You know – big families with uncontrolled kids, "stacks of abandoned cars", that sort of thing.

Casting our net a little wider, we found a couple of real interesting gems. Now, you Wood Villagers, I don't know what you guys been doing, but you sure have urinated in someone's Cheerios™* at some point:


Apparently it's just one big episode of Desperate Housewives out there, you people!

This next one I blame on gay marriage, society in general, and teenagers mixing Mentos and Diet Coke:


This could go a long way toward explaining why Dr P. didn't give the city the whole island. Or maybe it doesn't. Just throwing that one out there.

* The ZehnKatzen Times has no connection to General Mills or Cheerios, of which is a registered trademark. We also do not recommend anyone urinating in anyone's breakfast cereal. This would be wrong.

(h/t to ...and this Paddle Game for inspiring me to check out RottenNeighbor.com. The above absurdity we found on our own)

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29 October 2007

[pdx] The Progress of the Poll-Sam Adams: By A Vast Margin, Still A Politico

1063. The ZehnKatzen Times's Instant Online Gazonga Poll That Can Beat Up Your Poll, Sam Adams, Politican or Beer?, is still amazing people with its ability to wreak pure, unforgving consensus reality. At this point in time, Sam Adams is, far and away, still a politician.

A future poll will determine which kind of politico he'll be, of course. While I'm willing to poll here, I believe the city and county still has that one in hand, so no worries.

Vote! Remember, if you don't, you'll make Elvis cry. And you don't want Elvis to cry.

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28 October 2007

[pdx] The Poll So Far: Sam Adams Might Actually Be A Politician

1059. With five more days left in the polling, it seems that we are coming to the consensus agreement that Sam Adams is a politician, not a beer, by quite a margin...but the vote isn't over yet!

Remember, this is your chance to help us determine, by poll fiat, just what Sam Adams is. Our consensus reality rules, so no matter what that silly old reality says, Sam will be one or the other–either a beer, or a politico.

So belly up to the bar and vote, people–remember, Elvis himself fought and died for your right to vote. And we wouldn't want to disappoint Elvis, would we?

No, I didn't think so.

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27 October 2007

[pdx] Sam Adams Poll Still Open...

1056. Just as a reminder, the ZKT's Zapadoo Instant Poll, Is Sam Adams a Politician or a Beer?, Is still open!

Regardless of the outcome of the Brew-HaHa (it's becoming a real anti-Boston non-tea party) we have the power, through the power of the poll, to determine consensus reality. We have the power to decide exactly what Sam Adams is, regardless of what the real reality is!

Is that cool or what?

So get on board the train and help us decide! It's over there on the right, at the top of the sidebar!

And, just for some more blunt wisdom on the subject, regarding the Sam Adams Beer non-apology apology, the Brookston Beer Bulletin has the right of it all. Boston Brewing, here's advice better than your legal eagles are giving you...

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25 October 2007

[pdx] The ZKT Poll–Sam Adams, Politician or Beer?

1052. And now, the first (and who knows, maybe the last ZehnKatzen Times InStAnT Poll! The question was inspired by this post at Blue Oregon, and the question is simply this:

Sam Adams–Politician or Beer?

The poll is at the very tippy top of the sidebar there on the right, so vote early and vote as often as you can. The Poll closes in one week's time, 2 November 2007, 23:59.

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