08 June 2021

It's Not Really That Bad Out Here, I Don't Care What The Sign Says

3930

Just south of SE Washington St, adjacent to Mall 205, the very short couplet that is SE 102nd Ave/SE 103rd Dr merge to form a short diagonal road called SE Cherry Blossom Drive with connections to SE 112th Avenue, Portland Adventist Hospital, SE Market Street and a range of places south, east, and west of there.

I put this in front of you because I noted, on my commute home, that the back of the sign has been creatively edited.


I have a number of issues, here.

The least of which is that the area this opens up into, a little, beige, bland, banal Portland neighborhood called Mill Park (which is my home: I'm a perfect fit!) is about as far away from Hell as can be. It would be, at best, the Gateway to Heck, or maybe the Gateway to Darn, the Portal to Shucky-Darns, or the Access to The Place Where They Ask You About Your Car's Extended Warranty.

Not really a fair cop here.

Another question that comes to mind is that this is actually the side of the sign that thanks you for coming, which really raises the question of whether or not Hell has revoked its formerly one-way policy and is now promoting package tours to make a few extra bucks.

It is that kind of age, after all. And things have gotten tough; after all, just before we out here settled the question of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, Fabric Depot up and went out of business on us.

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