05 April 2008

[design] Winchell's Donuts: Redefining "Anything"

1471. Now, we likey the Winchell's Donuts. It's a character flaw, mayhap; in a city where donut hip has been redefined by our perennial heroes Tres Shannon and company, it's even a little disloyal, perhaps. But we are what we are. And the maple-frosted old-fashioned ... 'scuse me whil I wipe drool off the keyboard ...

Anyhow! The subtext here is "Slogans that Generate Scooby Moments". To wit, the following illo:



As you can see, it was ripped screaming from the side panel of a dozen-box by me in my cold, impassionate quest by my MacGuyver-style Swiss Army knife (It's a Victorinox "Tinker". Seriously. Check it out). Now, I have no arguments at all with the graphic approach. They have, to thier credit, retained the classic logo and type style therein (Souvenir, if you're curious), and have these lovely warm colors (in concert with thier slogan, "Home of the Warm 'n' Fresh Donut".


But this slogan, despite the distressed type (which looks to be a witty combination between a humanist serif and something approximating Futura) just leaves us scratching our heads.


WITH A DONUT IN EACH HAND ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.


Erm? Now, I know Donut, and I know Hand, and I know Anything and I know Possible. Does Winchell's have a different definition of the word possible that nobody else uses (except perhaps maybe Homer Simpson)? I suppose that a altered way of thinking of anything being possible would have to apply:


WITH A DONUT IN EACH HAND, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. AND BY ANYTHING WE MEAN MOSTLY REDUCED MANUAL DEXTERITY (AT LEAST UNTIL YOU'VE EATEN THEM), TEMPORARILY INCREASED FAT AND CHOLESTEROL BLOOD LEVELS, SURPLUS CALORIES, SOME TIME SPENT ACTUALLY EATING THEM, AND FINDING A WASHROOM BECAUSE THESE DONUTS CAN BE KINDA STICKY.


Oh, hell. I'll just enjoy the donut. But if you wan't to actually do anything that becomes possible with the two donuts, all I ask is that you put them down first. And wash up.


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6 comments:

Dale said...

Gawd I love donuts. They don't need to be good donuts. I love even the donut-shaped fat wads they sell at Safeway, and the ones they produce in enormous quantities in some industrial ruin of New Jersey and ship in cartons labeled Hostess. I am the donut's beeyotch, and I don't use the word "beeyotch" often.

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

I couldn't improve on that thought if I tried.

I will say, however, that while in Cali I did find out that Hostess' "Suzy-Q's" still exist and can be had.

Just not around here.

pril said...

oh donuts. i love them, but my tastes are simple. I love a good plain donut that I can dip in chocolate syrup at my leisure while drinking jet fuel, especially on Saturday mornings when I do my show. This is really my one comfort food, too. My grandma and I used to hang out and eat Dolly Madison plain donuts with chockie syrup when I was small. Good times.

pril said...

so.. samuel... you need your Suzy-Q fix... I can help you with that. My Wednesday Siskiyou route takes me many places that have the coveted Suzy-Qs. You just say the word and send an address....

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

@pril:
I love a good plain donut that I can dip in chocolate syrup at my leisure while drinking jet fuel, especially on Saturday mornings when I do my show. This is really my one comfort food, too

Me:
Yow! I think I just got Type 2 diabetes just reading that!

That said, you know how to live. And oh, Dolly Madison pastries ... when I was but a neat thing, Dolly Madison was also known as the poor man's Hostess. I knew this, being the poor man. Kid, anyway.

@pril:
so.. samuel... you need your Suzy-Q fix... I can help you with that. My Wednesday Siskiyou route takes me many places that have the coveted Suzy-Qs. You just say the word and send an address....

Me:
MMMMmmmmmdrool ... replied to under separate cover. Wah.

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Hey, Pril ... ping me on samuel.klein@gmail.com so we can arrange for the interstate shipment of Suzy-Qs.