29 April 2008

[zeitgeist] Missions Accomplished

1524. In the battle against the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, major combat operations against angry black pastors who said something impolite years ago have ended.

We can now move on to real threats against national security, such as prefab pop stars who accidentally gave away their innocence to Annie Liebowitz and Vanity Fair magazine. It was impossible not to comment after reading this article and seeing Miley do the flipflop.


Before (via EW):



I think it's really artsy. It wasn't in a skanky way. Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought that was really cool. That's what she wanted me to do, and you can't say no to Annie.



Skanky. She said it wasn't in a skanky way. Which is cool because all of us were worried that Hannah Montana would come off as skanky.


After:



I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed. I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about.



Oh. Well, that's all settled then.


Manufactured pop stars: Can't live with 'em; can't round 'em up and shoot them on a one way rocket ride to the sun.


Tags: , , , , ,


2 comments:

Dale said...

I don't really see skanky as much as Linda Blair from the Exorcist (as opposed to, you know, Linda Blair from ... um, something else she was ever in). I expect that teenage head to just keep turning across and over that right shoulder and on from there.

Are you sure we can't strap useless teen starlets to a rocket and shoot them at the sun? I mean, has anyone actually checked with a judge or a district attorney? Aren't there loopholes? Could we maybe just get Halliburton or Blackwater to do it --- can't some good come from them at long last?

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

Now that you mention it that does have the sort of "Linda Blair" ish look about her.

I suspected that Miley Cyrus is sinister. Now I know.

To your other point, I'm not altogether sure that we can't strap 'em onto a rocket and shoot them skyward, but my reading of the law suggests no, and I respect the law (yes, I know it's a naïve point of view, but that's me for you). If I did ignore the law on this point, my ethical system dictates that I do not do harm to lower, less sophisticated life forms, no matter how much they deserve it.

Yes, there am I, autohoisted by my own petard, but like I said, that's me for you.